Alien Abduction Plan

[Overkill]

Alien Abduction Plan

In case of alien abduction, follow the guide lines listed below.

1) Remain calm- Aliens are friendly. They will not hurt you.

2) Try to communicate your good intentions- Extend your hands forward, with your palms up.

3) Use a "friendly" voice- Speak in quiet low tones. Like when you talk to a baby. Do not yell. They do not appear to have ears, but their hearing is really sensitive.

4) Act Submissive- Try laying on your back with your arms and legs up and out. If they rub your belly, move your right leg rapidly in a "bike peddling" like motion.

5) Be polite, but don't be shy- They have all sorts of "probes". If an alien touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, remind them "no means NO!"

6) Be a good guest- Ask questions about them. Everyone likes talking about themselves. Aliens are no exception.

And don't forget!

When you return, you may need to "Defreeze" your watch.
Alien encounters often cause your watch to "Freeze" due to electromagentic fields.
Simply put it in a microwave oven for 3 to 4 minutes. (microwave wattages vary)

The Management- The Toluca Hotel
***

Got bored and typed it all from A Little Paranoia Among Friends.

[project412]

Wow, never actually read that. Thats great!

[rawen100]

Remember when I first read that, cracked me up! Still do.

[Ather]

Just don't kick them when bike peddling during your tummy rub. And make sure you don't sound like you're patronizing them with your baby talk.

Do not mention Burt. He's our secret weapon.