A Fan Fiction

Talk About Tremors The Series
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project412
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Postby project412 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:57 am

I'll read it tonight and let you know what I think.
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:00 pm

Thank you, and now for the question ignored:

Also, does anyone know the answer to my other question? Not trying to be rude, but are there any medium or large forest like areas in Perfection?
-From me in my other post lol
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project412
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Postby project412 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:10 pm

Overkill wrote:Thank you, and now for the question ignored:

Also, does anyone know the answer to my other question? Not trying to be rude, but are there any medium or large forest like areas in Perfection?
-From me in my other post lol


Well, there is the area near the mine in Tremors 4 with the trees for Hiram's hammock.

And I'm about to read through your post now. :)
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:13 pm

Alright, that means the octopus in the trees can be a good idea, borrowed from the "lost monsters" even though El Blanco and the killer shrimp made it out of those aswell.
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project412
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Postby project412 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:26 pm

I like it a lot. There are a few spelling errors, but nothing major in that category. Here are a few problems I noticed:

I don't believe the Graboids have "hairs". They are usually referred to as spikes.
A graboid's mouth splits into 4 parts, not 5.
ABs glide, not fly.
Harlowe, not Marlowe

I like it. I can't wait to see where you take the story!
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:33 pm

Thank you! The Harlowe was a simple misspelling on my part, and the flying was also a mistake. I typed flying first and deleted it to put glide. Then I put fly again. Need to pay more attention.

Also my story will be spell checked, as I always try to do.

I will try my best to capture everybody's character, but I cannot be spot on of course. I will begin writing it tonight, but thanks to school it will most likely not be up until next weekend.
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rawen100
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Postby rawen100 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:35 pm

It all seemed fine to me as well, didn't find any other mistakes than the ones that project412 pointed out.
Proud owner of:
Italian Tremors: The Legacy, US Tremors: Attack Pack (4 movies), US singles 1-4,
Norwegian rental version of Tremors 4, both Norwegian double packs,
US Tremors HD-DVD, 2 UK Tremors HD-DVD, 2 US Tremors the Series DVD, US Tremors LD
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:08 pm

"Hey guys I got this. I have my wrist seismo and some of those grenades from that survivalist guy. You can head on in, I'll finish putting up the equipment and met you guys in there once I'm done."
Dave said to his fellow miners, whom were here to begin mining once again within the so called abdoned mine. Folks had been scared because of the ghostly bacterial cloud, but Tyler had that taken care of.
"Alright fine. Now remember once you get the lights working in there turn them on, these flashlights barely work and we can use all the light we can in that dark mine."
Another miner reported, taking the others with him. Dave left alone to finish seating up the area for research on the rocks and the generator to get the lights running.
"Now where does this wire connect to again?"
Dave wondered as he began to set up the equipment, but something else had plans for him. A creeping shape lurked in the branches in the trees above waiting for the time to strike.
"Now where did I put those gloves-ah there!"
He said walking into the shade, where a small table holding water and some mining papers sat. As he walked over to the shade, something above moved.
"Right glove on left glo-AH!"
Dave said before feeling hmself bein lifted off of the ground and pulled into the trees above. The other miners rushed outside to find the source of the scream, but Dave was nowhere in sight.
*que show intro*

That is what I have so far, I don't expect to get it out today. I will most likely have it Saturday morning, just thought I'd give you a small taste now.
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rawen100
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Postby rawen100 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:11 pm

Promising start, looking forward for the rest. :)
Proud owner of:

Italian Tremors: The Legacy, US Tremors: Attack Pack (4 movies), US singles 1-4,

Norwegian rental version of Tremors 4, both Norwegian double packs,

US Tremors HD-DVD, 2 UK Tremors HD-DVD, 2 US Tremors the Series DVD, US Tremors LD
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project412
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Postby project412 » Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:16 pm

I like it. A lot. I can't wait to see what happens next.
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:34 pm

It will be up tomorrow so be on the look out!

I also had another crazy idea just recently. While outside I saw a snake slither through some leaves away from me at my footsteps, and thought "what if the Mixmaster had made a snake creature.." Which then turned into the idea of the Mixmaster blending a snake and a mole, to make it in short a almost graboid snake. It burrows underground and uses vibrations but also has eyes so it is not blind above ground. Then one thing I thought of was Larry would name it "snakeoid" as a nod to the first film.
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project412
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Postby project412 » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:21 pm

Overkill wrote:It will be up tomorrow so be on the look out!

I also had another crazy idea just recently. While outside I saw a snake slither through some leaves away from me at my footsteps, and thought "what if the Mixmaster had made a snake creature.." Which then turned into the idea of the Mixmaster blending a snake and a mole, to make it in short a almost graboid snake. It burrows underground and uses vibrations but also has eyes so it is not blind above ground. Then one thing I thought of was Larry would name it "snakeoid" as a nod to the first film.


Wow. Thats a pretty cool idea if you plan on making another fanfic. A battle between El Blanco and the Snakeoid would be cool.
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:32 pm

I plan on making them short stories, many I've written before. I'll be glad to post my older works, but be warned they are horror stories with brutal endings to each.

The graboid vs. snakeoid was going to be the final battle. Knew I was'nt the only one to think of it.
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project412
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Postby project412 » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:36 pm

Overkill wrote:I plan on making them short stories, many I've written before. I'll be glad to post my older works, but be warned they are horror stories with brutal endings to each.

The graboid vs. snakeoid was going to be the final battle. Knew I was'nt the only one to think of it.


I'll read some of your older stuff, but from the sound of it, I think your newer stuff sounds better. (I'm not a huge horror fan, but Im sure they will be worth a read, so please post!)

And it will be nice to see El Blanco get some monster fighting action in again. Eating an AB was awesome. And he almost made a meal out of old Project 4-12.

i can't wait for tomorrow to read your new story. Based on the opening you posted earlier, it looks awesome!
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Overkill
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Postby Overkill » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:47 pm

Read at your own risk, these stories are very short, simple, and too the point, but do not worry the fan fic will be different now that I have a fun cast of characters to try and play out.

Chapter Eight: What a Horrible Night...

"I'm not afraid!"
A young girl yelled in anger to her group of so called 'friends'.
"Oh looks like Katie is trying to grow up. Well if you aren't, stay here all night. Alone."
He was referencing to carnival they were at, they all knew she had a deep fear of clowns, and this was a perfect time to scare her. After a moments pause she bite her lip and said
"Fine! I'll stay here all night!"
The boys laughed and made a few comments to Katie before walking away, leaving her all alone. She sighed now she was stuck here all night. She couldn't leave, if she did the boys would mock her for the rest of her childhood. Some people just get themselves in the worst situations eh?
She did not like being here at all, it was dark, cold, and she felt watched. She knew she was alone but something in the back of her mind told her she wasn't. As she walked about the carnival grounds everything was getting darker as the night went on. She decided to try and find a place where she could stay and have some light for the rest of the night.
After some search she found a small booth with a easy to find light switch, however as she turned on the light a clown's mask was revealed to be hiding in the darkness. Katie let out a scream of terror and ran away from the mask, not knowing that she had just run into another clown.
The clown reached out his arms awkwardly to grab her, but thanks to her small size she was able to run away. However there seemed to be many more of them coming towards her. Panic overtook her and she ran into a booth, curled up into a corner and began to cry.
"Katie?"
A voice said, she knew it was one of the boys.
"Look,"
He began taking off the clown mask
"Its me, Jason."
At that the other boys took off their mask, laughing at Katie. They had scared her half to death but they didn't care.
"C'mon Jason lets go. She's suppose to stay her alone."
Jason however was not laughing. He saw they had hurt her and decided it would be best to try and help her.
"No thanks, you guys are assholes."
Jason said, they yelled a few curses in his direction before laughing again and walking away from the carnival.
You alright?"
He asked, she nodded but did'nt say anything.
"Sorry for what we did, we didn't want to scare you that bad. Here let me get this clown suit off and I'll be right back ok?"
She nodded again as Jason walked off. Moments later she heard more footsteps as if they were wearing clown shoes.
"Guys its not funny anymore stop it!"
She yelled, but got no response. The footsteps continued and a show crept in front of the booth.
"Please stop!"
She cried out again as the shadow stopped moving. It then resumed and turned and looked into the booth. Sure enough it was a clown, but unlike the others. This one was taller and looked as if he was bleeding. He smiled to reveal a full set of sharpened teeth, assuring her it was not a mask. She screamed and made a mad dash out of the booth, the clown not far behind.
"Jason! Jason!"
She cried hoping he would respond, until she saw it. Jason was dead, his body was hung on meat hooks in a booth, as if he was some prize for winning. She cried out in terror, tears filling her eyes. This was not happening...
The clown was coming closer, taking its time it seemed. Katie knew she ha to stop the clown, but how? She finally saw, a weak plank of wood holding up a booth. She would have to climb up and then as he tried to reach for her knock it down on him.
She ran for it as fast as she could. She had no trouble climbing to the top, but she began struggling when her shirt was caught upon a piece of wood. As the clown drew closer it ripped allowing her to escape his grasp. As he tried to reach for her once again she kicked the plank as hard as she could. It did close to nothing and he was getting closer with every reach. After many more kicks it finally weakened and fell upon the clown's head. The weight of it seemed to crush his head, as under the plank blood started to leak.
Katie tried not to look at what she had done. She did not want to kill him! Now she did not want to stay in the carnival. She ran home, faster then she thought she could run, it was only half a mile from her house, not very far at all.
However as she got home, she saw all the lights turned on. Wondering what had happen she opened the door and heard a dripping as if someone had left the faucet running. As she walked into the kitchen it was not a faucet, it was blood. Hanging from the ceiling were the other boys who had made her stay at the carnival, all of them dead.
She screamed again and ran upstairs to her parents room. They too however were also dead, hung on meat hooks and their bodies mutilated.
"No!" She yelled covering her face with her hands. Why did she have to stay in the carnival? Why?
As she turned around she saw a large masked figure in the doorway. It was the clown, half of his head still bleeding and full of fragments of wood. He smiled again, revealing his teeth and grabbed Katie by her neck, meat hook in hand...


Now the fan fi will be much longer, for these were just short short stories I wrote in my free time.

I laos have plans to bring up Burt's online romance, but string it out as a subplot through many "episodes"

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